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Cracids: On Wings of Peril 

The Houston Museum of Natural Science

Basquiat
at the Museum of Fine Arts.
Through February 12, 2006.

This is the first contest in which we mock some of the American traditions we love. Send us your fun, silly, stupid, absurd, or staged office party photos. Include with your photo a paragraph or two explaining how the photo came about (The five w's: who, what, when, where, and how). Make it funny, please. The best photos and stories will be posted here. One entry per email address. Click the email link above to send your entry.

I'll start it off with the masterpiece below.

The UT Health Science Center at Houston Annual (Forced) Fun Fest!

This annual ritual is announced to all with an email from the UTHSC president. From 2-6 p.m. you are allowed to go to a party in your honor for another year of hard work. But, first check with your supervisor if it's okay for you to go have fun. Then take the shuttle to the opposite end of campus.

BTW: You can not leave the party before 5 p.m. and say...go have fun somewhere else. You must return to work. You can not leave early to go home and have fun with the likes of your dog, or your kids, or your significant other. Maybe you could catch a matinee? No! Not allowed! Otherwise, you should stay at Fun Fest and HAVE FUN!

When you arrive the DJ is blasting obnoxious party dance music. You are given a punch card so that you can only get ONE of everything (except you get 2 beers). Why anyone would want 2 foot-long dogs on a stick, or two tasteless ice cream sandwiches is beyond me. The door "prizes" included UTHSC Koozies®. Whee!

Of course, you'll say, this was actually organized by a committee of employees. I think it's a sick experiment by the administration: "Leave them to their own devices, and we'll see what travesty of fun they'll manage to create."

And if you haven't been humiliated enough, they make you rememember this awful day with a souvenir photo where you're superimposed onto either a beach scene, fireworks, riding a magic carpet, or standing in front of a limo. Okay, the last time I was that close to a limo I was trying to get Jon Lovitz's autograph.

The result is the pic below (click to see in full). These are educated people in the photo, mind you: a Ph.D., an M.D., and a...a...B.A.

Next year, I'll just stay in my office and work till 5. That'll show them!